I'm sorry,but Women are just more Evolved

*Invisible reader* : Whaaa..? X.x
*Me*:Patience,my child.I shall explain.
So,um,I've this theory.and I will lamely try to explain it to you.I hope you don't come looking for me to murder me after this! Beware!I'm a Ninja.xD
Okay,see...I believe women are a way more evolved version of apes.
Look at this way..They are more emotionally secure.
They feel open to cry.
Well,men are still in the stone age that way.bottled up.Insecure.
It's like they've not developed a language compatible enough to express their feelings.
Also,men always consider most other men competition.they have this whole crazy thought process that they should be competing to have the best lady.and yet,they like having a flock of women.
Very stone age,that too!Back then,the prehistoric man wanted the sustainance of his clan,so he believed in polgamy.Tell me how much it's changed today?
Eh?
 I don't intend to say that women don't do all that ^
But,well,you know.Men do it in higher statistics.
Talking about the more superficial aspects,The posture.
Grace,elegance...it isn't expected form men?
They sit with their legs wide apart.Just like their prehistoric cousins?
 And...men are Hairier? Ugh.:| *gets akward* -_-
They have hair on their face also no?:P
*I know,I know,I'm such a genius no?* xD
Please don't kill me after reading this?

Words.:(

Sometimes,I hate the words people choose.
I think they deserved to be stabbed really hard.

Words hurt.Words hurt more than anything else can, because they last, sometimes forever.

 The other day I was at the swimming pool and I overhead a conversation that two kids were having.It went like :
#Older kid :"You're just a loser!"
#Younger one:"Well,you're just scared of losing to a junior.You're the loser"

this might sound relatively harmless,but are we fostering a generation of kids programmed to be mean?Where are the parents now that we need them?

Words damage you more than a very hard blow on your face.
Because a blow on your ego,your self esteem.It can kill you.
It is so saddening that we live in a world,
filled with people who lie and abuse all they want,and get away with it.
I believe that abuses are just a poor excuse for the lack of good vocabulary...and they're flying out from young mouths everywhere now.It's become "cool".
But everyday,millions of souls are wounded.and these wounds are quietly endured.
Do you know the statistics of suicide due to Bullying?Do you?
Do you know.. According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying?
And I know a lot of us have been there,the victim.Or just witnessing it.
 And if not either,we've been abused.and honestly,it doesn't feel great.
I think words should be allowed to be used only by people who don't abuse them.
Wouldn't it be wonderful?All the hurtful words you've heard in your life?Just disappearing?
Melting away?Never existing?
If only......
 

The Adventures of a teenage rebel.

They sat in a closed room.
5 PM.
Sun still high up.
They sat cross legged,facing each other.
Between them,The dry leaves.
It was a rite of passage.
One of them turned nineteen today.
Sorted.rolled.Perfect.
All that was needed was a matchstick,now.
I sat there,wondering...Is this what I'm going to turn into?
These people.These new adults that intrigue me.
These new adults,full of live and starry eyed.
So grown up,still so young.
 Maybe I'll be the same.
Maybe I won't.
I've never,ever seen the need to "experiment".
Am I weird?
Because I don't think it's glamorous.
It doesn't smell good,even!
It doesn't scare me,though.
I'm used to it...It's disgust that I feel.Detachment,even.
Well,it's just a very,very new world to me.
 

Free Falling.

Typical Friday night.
Dinnertime,
I'm in my Pyjamas,on the front lawn,
Weather's all breezy and cool.
I pluck at tufts of grass,
I look up now,
and there he is,
at the ledge of the terrace,
dressed in a thin grey sweater and an old pair of jeans,
slight stubble,
"He must be cold" I think,
But I don't ask him.
Instead I ask "Aren't you scared?"
"Of what?" he says.
"Falling?"I ask,voice deadbeat.
He doesn't answer.
He just stares back,long and hard,
but it isn't intimidating,at all.
Slowly,he drags a foot off the ledge,as if it were a heavy brick,
and then the other,
I freeze on the lawn,my mouth hangs open,"Are you out of your mind?Wake up!You aren't on a Skyscraper,Jaywalking" I scream.
But it's too late,
He's already on his way to the ground,
I close my eyes,
"Please be a nightmare.A horror movie"  I pray.
But when I finally gather the courage to look,
he's no longer there,
There's just a white feather,
falling to the ground,with all it's leftover grace,
Being beautiful,even as it reaches for it's death.
I reach for it,now.
It feels soft and warm against my sweaty palm,
I have a soul in my fist.

Reflection.

She looked at her image for the millionth time that morning,
She tried to search for something in it,
Something deeper,something different,
Newness,A change she hadn't noticed.
Nothing at all.
It was the same old Plane Jane staring back at her.
She saw flaws,Only flaws.
There was just so much wrong with her reflection,
Her hair was a mess,as usual.
Her face to worn  out.Eye bags.
A thousand silly,teenage thoughts raced through her head.
She wanted to be like all those other girls.
Almost Perfect.She knew they weren't perfect.
And it wasn't easy for them either.
But she'd Never,Ever be close to being a pretty face.
It wasn't so great a thing,she knew.
But sometimes,it got to her.
She'd never been called Pretty,
But she was Beautiful,
and deep down somewhere she knew it.
She  gripped onto the warm thought.
Her thoughts shifted now,
She tilted her head and gave a hint of a smile,
Then pulled a serious face,
Not taking her eyes off her reflection she wondered,
Why do we have to classify looks?
Why does it always have to work one way?
Why is it that only all the pretty girls have to be so important?
Why do girls have to be told they're pretty and still not believe it?
No one deserves to be called Ugly.
No one is ugly,actually.
It's all about the perspective.
If every girl would feel beautiful,
the way she is..
All flaws included.
Imagine how much more Happier they'd be,
The idea of beauty might have changed a lot
but Being Beautiful is knowing that you Are.
It's always been so.
No one can tell you're not.
She looked into the eyes in the mirror now,A strange new confidence
replacing the angst.
 

:)

Being Bipolar.

 Bipolar\Maniac Disorder :
Considered within the group of invisible illnesses, it is estimated that between 2% and 4% of the world’s population suffer from this mental illness to some degree, although its true impact is inestimable due to the difficulty of its diagnosis.


Terrible Morning,again.
Demons in my head.
Violence,noise,tears,
it fills up the empty spaces
of this dull gray May morning.
I was filled with elation just moments ago,
Now my soul feels dead.
I want to make it go away,
all the bad things,
The pain.
 I lift my head,heavy with exasperation,
I try to smile,
It doesn't work.
Patience has its end too.
Please make this go away.
Times come,when Happiness reaches its heights too.
But times like this,

is what scare me.
That someday being Bipolar would completely get out of my control.
I want nothing at all.Just The End of this.
The End.

Chaos.

The Raw Earth.
The Muddy Earth.
Filled with the smell of rain.
The air was stagnant.
Her Skin glowed like golden brown Honey,the afternoon sun's fierce,envious eyes not leaving her a moment.
She twirled and swished like a Ballerina,
With all her grace.
It was a while since she had done this.A long,long fissure in time.
She mouthed the word again.
That one word.
That one word,that changed the world.
Her lips were mere pink slivers.
The word that just vanished into the air,evaporated.
Like it had never been spoken.
It left her feeling cold.
Cold,and lost.
She twirled and twirled,her pace getting quicker.
One last twirl,and  she fell to the ground with a gentle thump,
She lay there,entangled in the dirt of her misery.
For hours she lay still,her hair falling like a protective blanket on her pale shoulders.
Expressionless,she waited.
Waited,for a miracle.
But she mouthed his name,one last time.
Her voice.. broken.
"Papa."

Sappy Pictures that make me Smile.:D

First Kisses.
What makes them so Special?
The fact that it throws open a whole new magical realm?
Or the fairytale perfection of that life defining frozen moment?
Makes me wonder.
I think the girl standing on tiptoes makes it waaay more romantic than it already is.
Really.:D
*Blushes*
*Blushes Harder*
Blushing easily is such an embarassment.>_<
I resemble a Tomato.
You:"Gosh what a Hopeless Romantic" -_-
Deal with it.It's my Blog.:P

 I really worry about myself sometimes.:P

Volcano Of Violence.

It oozes out like Coco Cola.

The burst of energy.
It turns up little at a time,year after year.
It smells of Despair.
It wears a bright smiley mask over its wicked reality.
It always defines the Moment.
Looming for ages over your head,like a lonely Black cloud.
It's an Addiction.
Or is it because of an addiction?
 Violence.
It hides behind glossy smiles,and Closed Doors.
Violence.
Yet nothing can be done.
Violence.
Give Peace Chance.

R & R.

Sometimes, Quiet Days are the Best.
Being alone is wonderful,sometimes.
Standing for too long under the cold spray of the Shower.
Reading with the comforter around you.
 Swimming in the afternoon.
Taking a CatNap with the Sun washing your Hair through the window.
Digging into comfort food.
Staring at Clouds.
Heaven.:)

 

Take me away.Anywhere,Somewhere.

I feel miserable.
A sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
My palms sweat.
My eyes,they're glassy.
Maybe it's the Because of D-Day.
Maybe It's the sleep deprivation.
Maybe I'm just bad at handling change.
Maybe it's the Car sickness not wearing off.
I feel like my entire life is falling apart,all at once.
Turning into mere specs of dust.
I just realised I forgot to have lunch,
I want nothing,nothing at all.
I don't have Questions.I don't have Reasons.
I want to Run away.
Far,far away from myself.
I hate the voice in my head.
I'm tired of this insecurity.
I'm tired of myself.
Everything I do feels wrong.
Everything I say does,too.
And I don't blame anyone but myself for it.
People are.......Happy.
People are just.Well.People.
I could never be that way.I don't want to.
But I want to just hide under the swell of the Earth.Hibernate.
For a long,long time.
Save me?

 

It couldn't get more random.

Lennon.<3

Okay,this is the shortest post.:P
Because I don't have a lot of things to blog about at the moment.So.
Why are Sunscreen bottles  always Yellow or Orange?O.o
 Why do people say "Ahan ahan"?O.o
Okay,It's getting weird.
Bye.

One fine Cloudy Summer Night.

We sit facing each other.
The floor is cold.
Musquitoes dance in thousands over us.
But we don't mind it,really.
It's only Us and a water bottle.
Cold water.

He has a girlfriend now.
He smokes now too.
So different since the last time we met.
But it doesn't bother me.

I'm still single.
and I don't smoke.
Still  the same as last time.
and it doesn't bother him.

We just sit there,under the dark cloudy sky.
Away from  the rest of the world.
We talk about love,his girlfriend,depression and other shit.
We stare aimlessly at the giant skyscrapers. The sparkly skyline.
We laugh at silly things.
It's just the same.
Like back when we were Kids.:)

And then the Sun Kissed Her.

It all ended with an open window.
The bed lay right in front of it,Bathed in the Sunlight that flowed in like a breeze.
Crisp, white linen sheets.

She felt this way every time she returned home.
Story leaped forward,as she shut the door behind her.
He had sad,sad eyes.Almost bloodshot.
Too sad even for a Dog's.

His fur grew in large tufts now.A beautiful brown,
The shade of Sugar Caramelizing.
His little black button nose,it's edge glistening with Saliva.
The sight of this beautiful furball made  her smile slightly.
She looked out of the window for a moment too long.
Pursed her lips tightly.
This was the last time she's stand at this window side.The
last Goodbye.
She was Moving away,far,far away.
To a land where lies only the bitter cold.
"The Land Of Opportunities " They'd said.
Quiet,hostile Submission was the only option she'd had.
She had dreaded this one moment all the while.
That one last look at what had been her beautiful home for years now.
the overcrowded city with all it's noise,all it's rubbish,Shoebox houses juxtaposed with Skyscrapers,the stagnant air and the Waxy Blue sky.It had  seemed an irrelevant mess so far.But now,she fell In love with the Chaos.
 She took it all in with a Sharp breath.
She held onto to every bit of it.
She had expected to feel Lost,nostalgic,miserable.A million things.
But "Love" was all she could feel as she let the scorching sun kiss her cheeks,one last time.

.

"Gather the crumbs of happiness and they will make you a loaf of contentment."

"Happiness is eating Nutella straight out of The Jar"
~Me.:)
You're right!I'm Happy today.
Not that I'm usually an unhappy person.
But for no reason,I'm super,super Happy now.

Ever felt that way? :)
So.I'm going to leave you with a (lame) Happy Story,
I read it on the cover of a Notebook.xD
Here Goes :
Have You ever felt all alone?
Well,Imagine THIS.
It's Raining,and I don't have an Umbrella.It makes me sad.
So I close my eyes and wonder who could have helped me.
Suddenly,I hear a soft voice and I see your smile.
The Real Friend can read your mind,even though they're away from you.
Wow,the Rain is over!

Look at that Beautiful Rainbow.
You're the Umbrella for me.:)
I know it's lame.Stop snorting.-_-

Also,I realise,Ties make me Happy.xD

Ties:They're just these amazing,sleep sharp pieces of well tailored cloth that completes an absolutely shabby outfit.It makes me wish I was Guy.:P
Messy Hair also makes me Happy.xD
Tiaras.Balloons.Cupcakes!
Aaaah!
^Buy me something no?
Of course you can't buy me messy hair.xD

And If my invisible readers,If you ever,ever get Sad,remember....... there's not much A lot of sleep,A tub Of Ice cream and a warm Shower can't Fix.:D

Love,
Me.

And Let there be Light.

People Die.It's inevitable.
But I really wonder what happens to them thereafter?
* That's so 11 years old*
Whatever.-_-
Yes,you're right.Someone I used to know died.
But I'm not devastated.
I'm just smiling at all the good times.
I used to sit on the kitchen slab,while he cooked and sang.
And He used to narrate stories lying down,drenched in the sunny afternoon,right at the door of the balcony.
I was really little back then.Too little,now that I think of it.
And now I wonder what happens to him?

Does he see darkness?The end of the light of life?
Just Darkness?
I hope not.
I hope there will be a lot of light.like this electric wave of bright white,blinding light.
and this light would beat out all the darkness that is death.
that's how I want to imagine it,really.
I know I talk like I'm five years old sometimes.
But I've always been intimidated by darkness.Always.

More so,I feared what lay in the darkness that might harm me.
And sometimes,I still do.
Monsters?Ninjas?Dinosaurs?Banshees?El Diablo,himself?
It's just that quality of darkness,you know.
the blackness that blocks out everything in sight.
that blind feeling.
the sharp silence.

So,I say "Let there be light."

The Picture-less Post.

I Have a follower.:D *Happy Dance*
Water drips off my wet hair.
I reluctantly eat the Sweetened Yougurt that tastes a bit salty.Salty like butter.
I'm bored of the Telly.
(Yes,I like saying British words)
I also like saying "Soho","Leicester Square","Yorkshire","Cornwall","Piccadilly Circus","Whitechapel","South Kensington","Essex", "Hornchurch"," Middlesex".Such beautiful names,aren't they?:')
Okay,You get the point.T_T
But then again,I also like saying "Neuroblastoma","acute lymphoblastic leukemia" and "diencephalon".
I wish I could be this confident while meeting someone new.
I wish I was as good as making conversation as talking all this crap.:P
and most of all I wish my Dad wouldn't behave so old.
He is old.Kind of.But that doesn't bother me.It's the way he behaves 'cause he thinks he's old.-_-
Okay,I don't know where I'm going with this.
So,Bye.

For Time is just an old friend of mine.

Do you really believe that "Time waits for no one?"
That Time is the most precious thing ever?
Do you?
Because I only partly agree with that.
Know why?
Because in the Ironic world we live in,
there also exist statements such as "Time heals all wounds."
So if time was so short,and it takes long to recover.
Then how could it be true? But it is.
The average person takes eight months to get over a lover.
So,I'd like to believe that although after the end of a phase,event,or ocassion ..time seems to have fluttered away with all its might.
But it only seems so.
There would be no second chances and phases of life at all,if time was so quick.
Invisible Reader : "You intend to say we can take life for granted?" :S
No.That's not what I meant.
Look,you must seize the moment and can live like there's no tomorrow and all.
But time does wait.It does slow down.
and it does silently creep away when you're having fun.
But we fear so much that we've lost time.We can no longer have it back.
It's like when someone asks me "How old are you?" and when I hear myself say "Sixteen" it sounds like the voice isn't my own.I feel to old.It's new to me.
But then I realise I've felt that way for a few years now.
and sometimes when I look at the face in my mirror.I see a face I don't quite recognise.Doesn't feel mine.
and I even say my name over and over again,the very sound of it rolling off my touinge unfamiliar.As if I'd never heard it before.
But I realise that it was not yesterday that I was in seventh grade.It HAS been a while.and I have grown up,but quite a lot is the same.
Like A wise old man once told me,"My child,The truth about time is that even if you sleep away 24 hours,you get a whole new,fresh,eventful 24 hours.And that's the beauty of time,none of us tries to understand."
I think he was right.
There's a time for everything.and it might or might not be right.There is no way to judge that.
I think we should not rush or force anything.It only spoils what time might have unfolded like an unexpected gift.Yes,Time too,like "The truth" and "Reality" is overrated.

Nostalgia.

I don't mind the feeling,really.
It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
and I feel nostalgic a lot.
Probably because I hardly ever forget anything,save the details.
Uh,so here's a poem* I wrote a while ago.
I'm not that great at it.and it's not a really Happy one.So.

It's a chilly morning,
I miss my sweater,
I smell something familiar,
as I shudder slightly.
It's drifting out of memory lane,
The feeling I've felt a million times before,
It's warm and endearing,
but hurts a little too,
For it's the feeling of being gone,
Gone,from the time you can't go back to.
A time,you weren't so sure you'd want again.
It makes me sigh with a tinge of regret,
Still,it brings a sad smile to my lips.

London,Paris and Around the corner.

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine.
Of all weird things in the world,we were talking about places we'd like to visit.
Me: "I'd like to go to Japan! :D "
Her : "I want to go to London and Paris "
Me: "And Italy!"
You : *Teenage girls* -_-
Well,I don't travel much.
And I'd love to.
And It's summertime now.And I'm here doing nothing at all.
Sitting huddled on the top of the stairs.Hiding.
The weather outside is beautiful.All grey and windy.
One of those days when the trees look like they belong to a watercolour poster.
"She will be Loved" plays in my head.
I don't know where I'm going with this post.:(
It started out Happy.Din't it?
I need change.I want to go back home.and hide under my blanket and roll on the sheets of my miserable life.
Everyone I know is moving to Texas,and New York and Holidaying in exotic places.Bleh.
Invisible Reader: "What a jealous,ungrateful Pig!"
Well,I know there are millions Homeless out there.
and I watched this Kurdish Movie.and It was so devastating.:(
I'm gald to be alive.
and that means I'm going to end this rant on a Happy Note.
I'll leave you pictures of these Places that make me Happy.:D
Here goes :
Japan in Spring. (:

Ratatouille.<3

Rainy London.:)