More.

I remember being five,and  the some of the worst things that happened to me were the likes of having having a finger slammed by a door of a car,or losing a game of ludo.
Fear,was a dark room,a horror movie..monsters,they assured me as a child,are fictional.
Who can assure this little one of the same? I don't think any adult can assure themselves of it.
The more we grow up,the more real mosters and demons seem to us.The irony of life.
But She's five,they say.All  these posts on my facebook wall  and all the newspapers headlines do scream.
A little child,unaware.
They talk of disgust,of anger,of a failed system.I feel all of it too,the heat,the need to change,quick.
But what everybody forgets int he midst of protesting or pretending to care on social networking sites,because,oh,what will people think if I don't repost this  or have a black dot as a profile picture?
..is that she was a little girl,a life,a person,who din't even know what took place.Her life ,forever changed.
No,I am not capable of feeling sorry like the rest of them,at least for not more than a period of time,I din't personally know the child.and no,that does not mean I am not moved by the incident.
I just want to say that does being moved by something always have to involve showing the world that you are deeply hurt?
That child.this is how I feel about her,exactly..She din't deserve it,and now she's just been reduced a hineous crime,an act that is a failure of the Government bodies,a sad tale,a misfortune,a news headline,a topic of discussion,a reason to change a law,a part of history...a lot of insignificant things...irrelevant compared to what she was,and she should have been.
A little girl.with a childhood,a life.She was person,not a label,not an agenda.I wish we could all just let her be,and give her the space.She will have a life  of recognition she will probably hate.A fate she din't bring upon herself.
I probably look at the situation this way,because I had no control over my happiness as a child and I know how it is.and I also know how it feels when a person is reduced to a label,a freak accident..like they din't matter as a person,din't matter for the songs they liked and the way they laughed,but instead,the fate that weighed down on them.The way people chose to think of the situation.

Happy Endings?

I've always been a sucker for happy endings.Always.
And everything looks so much prettier on an early summer morning.
Water droplets on the windscreen,golden globules kissed by sunshine.
The Earth,so covered by crunchy brown leaves,and soft yellow ones,browning..that  not a single patch of land can be see,as if the ground were built of leaves.
*Scene Shift*
Sitting at the end of the long table,in the lunch hall..I look for signs that reassure me it's last day of summer school.The girl who sits opposite to me,has deliberately forgotten to wear her shoulder tabs,and two other girls on my side eat skittles on the sly.It's a special dish today,"Mango rice" and just the fact that we got second servings made me happy.It's such an uneventful,usual day but it's the time of the year that makes me infinitely happy.Everytime summer rolls around,I feel like screaming my lungs out and go around giving free hugs.And I'm not big on hugs.I usually just stand there,frozen,awkward while the other person wraps me in their embrace.Summer makes me feel like I'm gonna grow wings and fly away,like in the redbull adverts.It's my high.
Summer just fills me with the kind of happiness nothing else ever can.This peculiar gladness to be alive,to be around..just to feel the summer sunshine on my nape of my neck.
I can even put up with the sticky,moist,intense heat and dehdydrating spells of sweat that makes my clothes cling to my skin.Just for the sake of summer.

Moment of the day.

There's this one blogger who posts about profound moments she encounters each day.
And it insipred me to do at least one post about a profound moment.
This happened last night,but yeah,whatever.
We were just another bunch of teenagers overjoyed by the fact that we had licorice sticks (candy.yeay.) on a long distance car ride to watch a cricket match.and feeling that warm,fuzzy feeling inside my chest,that fills me with contentment at the sight of the blinding floodlights,an indication that we were nearing the stadium.I feel that way each time I see floodlights.And the cheer of the crowd,like one of my friends puts it,is like music to your ears when you are an enthusiast and you can listen to the wild screams before you even enter a world away from reality.The crowd,it gives you the same feeling of insignificance that you get under a starry sky.
And it got way too late on the way back home,much past midnight..but our enthusiasm had not yet been washed out.we were a bunch of ecstatic kids pulling faces at the supporters of the opponent team,while they walked defeated on the dark streets the depression of loss looming over their colourful wigs and painted faces.If you saw them,you'd think  they were oppressed Jews from a concentration camp in Nazi Germany.
And the ride back home on an almost empty street,we saw the lake,lit up by the reflection of the city lights..tall reflections,that late at night.and the pristine Buddha statue standing right at the center,lit up by pretty blue lights.Solitary on a Sunday night.
The very sight put us all into a reflective daze,expressing our love for the city and how perfect it will always seem in our minds,and how we all wished we'd never have to move away elsewhere.If only the colleges around were good enough.
It got all very nostalgic and quiet,till someone said something funny again.
It's funny how my most profound moments take place in cars,though.

To Dying Frailities.

Everytime I look around,it astounds me to see kids,as I refer to them,
the young adults growing up with me,so grown-up all of a sudden,
It's changed in the most wonderful ways,our attitudes,our behaviour
we're subtly outgrowing  our gangly,awkward stance and hormone driven acts.
We're growing up,blooming like white summer flowers,that line the street,
so refeshing,a mindblowing kind of newness,crisp as sunbeams.
I think I see,the beginnings of responsibilty,of chivalry,
of a tender kind of concern for each other,
Treating each other like family,keeping aside differences
Being mature enough to forgive.
I feel this soft,fuzzy warmth in the cavity of my chest,
as if it were filled with sunshine.
Is this the same pride of watching your garden grow?
Of watching your child turn into everything you dreamed it would be?

Take care.

Sometimes,you need to let other people do things for you,
if that means putting things right and make you happy.

April Sunshine.

"When you're dreaming with a broken heart,waking up is the hardest part."  said John Mayer once.
True though the statement stands..not only do you need to eventually wake up,but also once you wake up,you wake up to better things too.Unexpected surprises.
I have learned that sometimes,getting out of bed makes things less miserable.
And learned to love the storms as much as the sunshine,and BOY,do I love sunshine!
What is it with people using the metaphor of about sunshine after the storms,anyway! I mean,storms are beautiful too.
And I have stood my ground even on the scariest nights.Like those leaveless trees,who entwine their branches heavenward,thankful for the gift of life,even in the fall..when they are left bare and cold.
Blessed I am,to walk into a room full of people waiting to surprise me because I have touched their lives and I have touched theirs,in ways big and small.
And I am glad to be able to see the good in people,discovering the wonders forgiveness can do.
Giving second chances,and letting judgement take the back seat.
So proud of Choosing not be affected by people,breaking the cycle and watching how beautifully my peers have grown up to be,like a family,we help each other grow as people.
And that Guilt-trips are only turning into history now.
You know,I might sound overly-optimistic but no..it's just my way of replacing bewilderment with bravery in every little tiff life throws.