I fell asleep against the bathroom wall yesterday morning,and I only woke up to the incessant knocks of my parents telling me it was 7:45 already and I was supposed to be at school by then.
It was a bad start,I guess.Until I had nothing to say when I had to explain why I was late.There was so much I wanted to,I had a well prepared speech in my mind,in fact.But I din't have the nerve to say it.
I wanted to tell the teacher to cut me some slack,that I had only overslept,something very human! I had overworked myself and was so exhausted that I fell asleep on the bathroom floor.My head was banging with pain,and my life was not good enough to wake up to at the moment.I'd rather have my eyes closed to block all the pain and weariness.But no,that's not how life works.You have to wake up,and drag yourself through the difficult days.
I often feel my problems are not all that bad,really.I make them that way.And I get hurt for the silliest things ever.I get hurt because people really close to don't understand that my feelings are not my control.Being Bipolar is not easy,but if you ask me,dealing with people's indifference is the harder part.
I get annoyed at the smallest of things,and way more that people should.I hate going to school.I hate having to travel to go to school (carsickness).I hate that nowadays,my Mother seems to forget way too much.I can only imagine how terrible that is,because,I remember things from years ago,down to detail.And my mom was quite like that too.Also,She quite Obsessive Compulsive when it comes to cleanliness.Someone needs to tell her that just because I get ready in a jiffy does not mean I'm not ready enough.that she's the one taking too much time! It gets onto my nerves a lot.
And what hurts the most,is when she tried to awaken a sense of guilt in me,even when I'm just joking about something or I say something in a concerned sense.She blames me.I take it,quietly.
There.I put into words a part of my pain.Right now,I'm burning out.Loosing my energy and enthusiasm.
I know two years down the line,things will fall into place.Life will seem many shades brighter on the other side of the two years,than it does now.
Quoting Meredith Grey
It was a bad start,I guess.Until I had nothing to say when I had to explain why I was late.There was so much I wanted to,I had a well prepared speech in my mind,in fact.But I din't have the nerve to say it.
I wanted to tell the teacher to cut me some slack,that I had only overslept,something very human! I had overworked myself and was so exhausted that I fell asleep on the bathroom floor.My head was banging with pain,and my life was not good enough to wake up to at the moment.I'd rather have my eyes closed to block all the pain and weariness.But no,that's not how life works.You have to wake up,and drag yourself through the difficult days.
I often feel my problems are not all that bad,really.I make them that way.And I get hurt for the silliest things ever.I get hurt because people really close to don't understand that my feelings are not my control.Being Bipolar is not easy,but if you ask me,dealing with people's indifference is the harder part.
I get annoyed at the smallest of things,and way more that people should.I hate going to school.I hate having to travel to go to school (carsickness).I hate that nowadays,my Mother seems to forget way too much.I can only imagine how terrible that is,because,I remember things from years ago,down to detail.And my mom was quite like that too.Also,She quite Obsessive Compulsive when it comes to cleanliness.Someone needs to tell her that just because I get ready in a jiffy does not mean I'm not ready enough.that she's the one taking too much time! It gets onto my nerves a lot.
And what hurts the most,is when she tried to awaken a sense of guilt in me,even when I'm just joking about something or I say something in a concerned sense.She blames me.I take it,quietly.
There.I put into words a part of my pain.Right now,I'm burning out.Loosing my energy and enthusiasm.
I know two years down the line,things will fall into place.Life will seem many shades brighter on the other side of the two years,than it does now.
Quoting Meredith Grey
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