orange tinted tongues from ice lollies and conversations about all the lovers we never had,
that's how all my summers seemed to begin,uneventful,inconsequential,
but this time's a little unusual.
It involves getting stuck in rain clogged streets choking with traffics and noticing flowers in colours I had only dreamt of in grey streets,and the first green mangoes so inviting.Getting sucked into a spiral of the freshest pale pink and aquamarine leaves,almost missing out on a board exam,burning up the object of my pain,physically,a question paper set aflame.Watching my anguish rise in sparks,then flames,diminish,disappear.
Hospital corridors painted in hues of lavender and yellow,
falling asleep on metal waiting chairs that are not old or uncomfortable,the austere glances of other people,the uncomfortable shared silence of strangers in the elevator that makes you want to have taken the stairs.floor 5:Nephrology and Urology,words that send an instant shudder down my spine,
pierce like needles under my skin,I can feel the the first taste of soy milk at the back of a throat,in a hospital waiting room,aged 7,putrid.
I set fire to my insides,and relish the acidity of it,
eat leftover angel hair noodles from last night,you cooked with such love,
as you lie in some strange hospital bed,in a peaceful trance,
Somewhere.
And I remember the times the beer was cold and the afternoon blazing,
and the food orgasmic inside my mouth.
and the nights when the rain poured soft,the bonfire felt warm and fuzzy
and I never wanted to come back home.
Like a marshmallow,I wanted to let my interior walls soften and shine
but I refrained from happiness,returned home,
my existence is refrain,
like the lines of poetry on repeat.
Liberate me.
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