Crystalline

It's strange what we miss out on because of the fear of missing out,
it's even stranger what we miss once it doesn't belong to us anymore.
You claim to hate home but there are pieces of it you carry everywhere,
the shade of blue the sky looked in the mornings,before sunrise,when you
looked out of the window with one eye open-serene as a gentle sea wave,
then slowly,golden,as the sunlight hit the roofs with a softness that seemed dream like.
the first sip of coffee that was made with mime like quiet in the middle of the night,witnessed by latticed shadows of garden trees,so good,you swear you could feel it gush into your veins.
The warmth of those extra few minutes of the morning spent cuddling under covers,
although you know it'll cost you time and make you late.The musty smell of your dog
that you breathed in each night,as he fell asleep beside your bed.Those stickers you stuck on your bed's headboard when you were ten.Withering flowers in an old glass bottle in a corner,a glimpse at which guarantees a smile.The familiarity of buttered
toast melting in your mouth,divine.The way a particular friend would roll her eyes in school,
all the homework scribbled carelessly into notebooks at top speed in the break before the
respective class,Wednesday morning free periods sprawled outside the library where it seemed as if time could possibly never end,that prayer song they sang in the assembly that you don't remember all the words to,the classmate who always knew the right moment to hold your hand and pull you out of class when there was chaos all around,the first sip of coca cola after a really shitty day.
The only sense of belonging you'll ever know is feeling these memories forever,living life in a time loop.