Saturday 28 December 2013

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

Of late,I have grown quite obsessed with the Perks Of  being a wallflower.
Yes,one might say it's overrated but it appeals to me,still.
For me,the whole point of reading it was leading up to the rather universal epiphany that it was a poignant portrayal of how hurt and pain resonate in every human relationship.All the  people Charlie loves and is close to, pick lovers who will hurt them in return.Maybe they want the hurt,maybe these are mere subconscious choices.Sam,Patrick,Charlie's siblings,Mary Elizabeth.All.
A very,very sombre,subtle, pretty portrayal,at that.
A slow,mellow transition of a situation more than a story,it is a moving portrayal of the fragility and intricacy  of hope and love and pain.
Even those events which would be considered otherwise major,massive or life changing are depicted in a subtle  undertone in this book,as if a swift  brook of  life met some boulders on it's way,and overcame."Things change,friends leave and life doesn't stop for anybody."
Maybe it's because the author wants us to know ,let me put it  this way,like the movie Seventeen Again said : "When you're young,everything feels like it's the end of the world,but it's only the beginning."
What struck a chord with me most in  the book,though,was the fact that the  transition of Charlie's life is at a very realistic pace.
And his pain  is palpable.The revelation of the fact that his aunt Helen molested him was moving,and how he never remembers her in a bad light,and blames himself instead,for he thinks she died because of getting him two presents instead of just one on his birthday,which happened to fall on the same day as Christmas.
In Charlie's own words-"These things,they do happen."
More often than never,people do blame themselves for being unlovable and this causes inevitable hurting to oneself and others.Like a daisy chain of hurt being passed on because of mutual pain that refuses to stop haunting us.
Having been a wallflower for very long,myself and finding solace in the world of books,I treasure the books immensely.Finally  finding your own kind is just another feeling-"Infinite".
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