The art of fangirling and Beyond

I'm not a hardcore fangirl,I hate to admit it,but I'm not.I'm surrounded and by them and I love them to bits,I only wish I could admire something with that intensity,but I can't.

Most fangirls aren't taken too seriously,but it's an art,one you might not notice the beauty of until you actually look deeper than a peep.It's an art because art is abstract and free-spirited,because love,in every form,is art.Art is made of love.I think fangirling has existed in many forms before the term was coined,say,all the hipster groupies of music bands in the 60s,or the courtesans of Rome.And time and again,society tends to marginalize them,degrade them.Condemn them as silly because of a choice,just as is the case with consented incest or homosexuality or suicide or even abortion.It's a choice,and we're all entitled to chose how we live.
And those who say it's all just a stint of consumerism,us being unoriginal products of a grand scheme of deception clearly have forgotten what it feels like to love a phenomena beyond themselves,to acknowledge beauty in the mundane.To realise that this could symbolize unity without even knowing a fellow lover's name or existence.Psychology claims that infatuations are so common because unrequited love is easier,but what if we choose unrequited love over and over again because it feels more fulfilling.Because in a broken way,it isn't unrequited at all.Maybe every infatuation is as good as fangirling,because it looks shallow in its depth,deceiving in its appearance,but it is as full of impact as the intention it is born out of.It's complete in its imperfection,which is why fangirling makes sense.I don't owe a justification to anybody,but fangirling deserves to be explained in its true essence.Many may say its no better than an addiction in which pleasure triggers the want,and the chemicals kick in..but it's not always so scientific,so simple.I've always been the dreamy kind,anyway.

                                               
But what I really want to talk about is that which doesn't have a coined term yet,nor a euphemism-
That feeling when you've loved and adored something or someone long enough,that it becomes an ingrained part of your existence.It feels wrong to call it fangirling,when you grow up with it,when it teaches you and changes you and makes you half of who you are.Atleast,makes you believe in something other than yourself.
I don't even know how to convey the feeling...
"You don't fangirl over your favourite blanket,you don't fangirl over your mother,you don't fangirl over childhood home.You don't fangirl over your school."  as a friend of mine says.The love just comes to you,naturally..
I couldn't fangirl over Grey's Anatomy, Taylor Swift,  Dead Poets' Society, Coca-cola,Poetry or Ramona Quimby,if I wanted to.I love them.Because I am them,and they are me.And we're in a relationship that's the hopeful kind of sad,the sad kind of happy.Anyway,I don't want love that's easy.