Shadow of choice

I opened my eyes to a lucid dream,I stood outside my body,

Thrown out of a car wrecked night,

A pool of blood ominous to the arrival of farewells,

I looked tranquil as slumber slept over me,

Shards of glass strewn on the highway like confetti.

I stood there,watching,never knowing I had a choice,

Not knowing how to chose,how to say if I could stay,

When they waited for me back home,to return that evening.

It came in flashes,like they always said,and I had never cared to pay attention to it,

My mother’s smile,my baby sister calling out my nick name on a summer day,the favourite boxers I wore that morning,that familiar love song on the radio,

My first kiss so gentle on the lips,the endless tears that followed  a broken dream.

I wanted to stay,to be awake,to know I had a choice,a chance

At life,at growing up,at someday getting married,of being a parent,

Of working a real job,of being legally able to drink,of  growing old.

But life,she gave up,gave way,not too long did she wait,

She crumbled and fell face front  in the hour of death.

Night fell silently on the scene,I felt my loved ones cry,

Heard their hearts ache every time they realized,always hitting them harder than the first time.

I left,because I did not know how to stay,I wasn’t given the chance,

Ill-fated time snatched me away in a jiffy,my youth she stole,

"for a moment,then gone."Forever.

They still wait for me,I can still hear them pray with a faith they half lost that night,

I was eighteen,and it was the only goodbye.