Just for one day

"It's funny how time can make a place shrink,make the strangeness of it all seem ordinary"

Half a butterfly wing buried in gravel,
An empty bag pack and the last lunch box ever.
The last one minute of silence spent  staring at OMG carved out on the wooden desk top.
The day feels infinitesimal and infinite at the same time,which is kind of symbolic of how school feels on the whole,maybe.
The waking up- and -sulking about it being Monday morning,always running a second too late for assembly,scribbling a few sentences at least of last night's home work,dancing at the end of last period on Friday,loving the contents of your neighbour's lunchbox more than yours,struggling not to giggle in the assembly line,making up intellectual quotes for the thought for the day,Bullshit-ing through the tests and bunking in the hide out.Oh,and special mention to all the lost stationery that strangely disappeared each day.It all seems so stretched out it becomes normal.In the end,it always seems so surreal and the finality never hits you on time.
And all the hurried scribbling on t-shrts and notebooks on how much you'll miss your class mates can never come close to describing that feeling of knowing there is a definite end,and awaiting it but not quite a anticipating the swiftness at which it seems to have arrived.You'll never wake up groggy at 7 am running for the same kind of normal anymore and you'll probably not see a lot of the same people again or have the chance to know them better and that's overwhelmingly bitttersweet.

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

Of late,I have grown quite obsessed with the Perks Of  being a wallflower.
Yes,one might say it's overrated but it appeals to me,still.
For me,the whole point of reading it was leading up to the rather universal epiphany that it was a poignant portrayal of how hurt and pain resonate in every human relationship.All the  people Charlie loves and is close to, pick lovers who will hurt them in return.Maybe they want the hurt,maybe these are mere subconscious choices.Sam,Patrick,Charlie's siblings,Mary Elizabeth.All.
A very,very sombre,subtle, pretty portrayal,at that.
A slow,mellow transition of a situation more than a story,it is a moving portrayal of the fragility and intricacy  of hope and love and pain.
Even those events which would be considered otherwise major,massive or life changing are depicted in a subtle  undertone in this book,as if a swift  brook of  life met some boulders on it's way,and overcame."Things change,friends leave and life doesn't stop for anybody."
Maybe it's because the author wants us to know ,let me put it  this way,like the movie Seventeen Again said : "When you're young,everything feels like it's the end of the world,but it's only the beginning."
What struck a chord with me most in  the book,though,was the fact that the  transition of Charlie's life is at a very realistic pace.
And his pain  is palpable.The revelation of the fact that his aunt Helen molested him was moving,and how he never remembers her in a bad light,and blames himself instead,for he thinks she died because of getting him two presents instead of just one on his birthday,which happened to fall on the same day as Christmas.
In Charlie's own words-"These things,they do happen."
More often than never,people do blame themselves for being unlovable and this causes inevitable hurting to oneself and others.Like a daisy chain of hurt being passed on because of mutual pain that refuses to stop haunting us.
Having been a wallflower for very long,myself and finding solace in the world of books,I treasure the books immensely.Finally  finding your own kind is just another feeling-"Infinite".
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